Last night, I went out with my friends, Kriya and Angelica. Before going to Where Else, we hanged out at Glorietta. Kriya’s German boylet arrived–he approached us at the bar and when I saw him I almost burst an artery. I kind of wish I did. At first I thought that it was Casey, not Leo, who was standing no more than a foot away from us. Leo looked exactly like Casey! The only difference I could see is that Casey had straight hair and Leo has wavy hair. I think Casey is also thinner too. And you know the weird part? Leo is German. I wanted to excuse myself and go to the bathroom but I found myself unable to do anything else except sit there and force myself to stop trembling.
Leo sat right across where I was, as if to run my misery in. He even acts like Casey goddamnit! He hunches forward and when he smiled it looked even more like Casey and I almost burst into tears. Also, compared to the two other guys he didn’t really say much. In person, Casey is also quiet.
I spent two hours of agony sitting there. Because Leo-Casey was sitting in front of me I wasn’t my usual talkative self. By the time they were gone I felt very disillusioned about my feelings for Casey. I really need to forget him. Whatever made me think that I had a chance with him anyway? Because we’ve been friends for so long? Well think again. I don’t think I look that bad, but I’m not the kind of girl people would notice right away. And although I do think that I have a great personality, what kind of guy looks at a girl’s personality these days? Guys who are like that don’t exist anymore! All they care about is sex, and I have yet to meet a guy who likes girls because they’re smart, funny and deep and not cos they have big boobs or are good at giving blowjobs. *points at tagboard*
Whatever….And here’s this other thing that really, really bugs me. What is it with me that attracts freaky guys? I hate that the guys I like don’t ever like me back, while the guys who like me are the ones I wouldn’t touch, even with a ten-foot pole. So if you do find yourself attracted to me, chances are you’re probably out of your mind. Go seek professional help, before I whack you with my frickin’ pole.
Actually this is an excerpt from this journal entry.
