It doesn’t bother me that she’s achieved more than I did at her age, though. You know what bothers me? It’s she still calls me ate (pronounced ah-teh). Ate is a Tagalog word for “elder sister” and you use it like you would use the word aunt.
(my online journal is down right now cos Aletia is moving servers)
Yesterday was Halloween and Halloween can only mean one thing: CANDY CORN. It’s my favorite candy in the whole world (next to chocolate) and since it’s the kind of candy you get sick of eating after awhile, I only pig out on it once a year so I don’t get too bored with its taste. Now I feel extremely fat. And with good reason too. Not only did I eat a lot of candy corn, I just broke the golden rule: no food after six p.m. I just came from Greenbelt with my cousins where we had a McDonalds dinner and hung out at this cafe called Hobbes afterwards. While I had a lot of fun, I didn’t get to burn the useless calories I consumed today. So much for my diet. And we have a family pictorial tomorrow too. We’re all supposed to wear cream or beige dresses so we’d look really formal, and I’m probably gonna look as bloated as a leech. Why’d I have to get PMS right now? How totally inconvenient. I shudder to think of it because all my relatives in my father’s side of the family will have a copy of the family picture hanging on the walls of their homes. And I at my worst, shall be included that picture, looking horrible and bloated for all eternity.
I guess I don’t really get along well with the cousins at my dad’s side of the family. They aren’t mean or anything, but it’s just that they’re several years younger than I am. I guess I got too used to being the youngest among my friends. I don’t really know how to deal with younger people; my cousins are still at that stage where they think Eminem and Britney Spears are cool and I don’t really know what to say to them. I also don’t like being responsible for what they do. And I sure as hell don’t want to be their role model either; I’m sure I’d set a bad example. So I guess in many ways, my sister acts like she’s older than I am. She’s top one in her class, she’s a goody-goody, she’s a soprano, she watches out for the little kids–you know what I mean. The ideal daughter, student, whatever. She really should’ve been born before me.
It doesn’t bother me that she’s achieved more than I did at her age, though. You know what bothers me? It’s she still calls me ate. Ate is a Tagalog word for “elder sister” and you use it like you would use the word aunt. Since I’m the older sister, my sister calls me Ate Lauryn. It feels a bit weird when I’m called thatcos I’m only a year and a half older than she is. That’s like the age gap between me and my friends at school, and it never occured to me to call them ate. I’ve got thirty-year old friends and I don’t call them ate either. I don’t believe that I should be venerated in any way just cos I’m a couple of years older, but it’s a Tagalog tradition so there’s nothing I can do. I say Tagalog instead of Filipino because I just learned that not all Filipinos use the titles ate or kuya (older brother). Visayans don’t. Anyway, my sister agreed to stop calling me ate, but it’s like an old habit. She keeps forgetting to call me Lauryn and I keep forgetting that I shouldn’t respond when she calls me ate.
Ugh, my foot just fell asleep. Don’t you just hate that pins and needles feeling?
