Love and Free Will:
Defying the Expectations of Society
It is said that God bestowed the gift of free will on all human beings upon creating them. Before anything else, we need to come up with a definition of “free will”. To be free is to not be controlled by obligation or the will of another. The word will means a deliberate decision upon a course of action. Simply put, “free will” is the freedom to choose what you want to do. When one has free will, one can pick any one option among many possible options. In the short story “Dead Stars”, I believe that Paz Benitez-Marquez was implying that although we human beings have the free will to decide on our course of action, sometimes we don’t have a choice but to do what society expects from us.
Alfredo had the choice to marry either Julia or Esperanza; the woman he thought he loved and the woman he had been engaged to for almost four years. But he did not really have the freedom to choose to be with Julia because doing that would have made things very complicated. Not only would that decision jeopardize his relationship with Esperanza and her family, but afterwards his neighbors would always look upon him with disdain and his standing in society will be severely affected. If the setting of Dead Stars had taken place in the 21st century, a love affair would be nothing new and neighbors might have not made a huge scandal out of a broken engagement. But the time the story was written was during an era when Filipinos were more traditional and conservative. Alfredo married Esperanza for the obvious reason that it would have been impossible to do otherwise, and although he didn’t feel any regret in making that decision he wasn’t exactly happy about it either. Relieved, maybe, that he had done what society presupposed he would do. However, his “affair” with Julia had a serious effect on his relationship with Esperanza. Although Alfredo was kind to his wife, he had grown “immeasurably far away, beyond her reach”, implying that communication between them ran dry. As a result, they were no longer as open to each other as they used to be.
We all know that with freedom comes responsibility. But what do we consider when we make our choices? Do we think of what good these decisions will do for us? Or should we let other people’s expectations become a greater influence? I believe that a healthy mix of both should always be considered in the process of decision-making. It is understood that individuals will always do what they think is best for themselves, but how our decisions will affect the people close to us is important to think of too. We will always need the help of others, and it has never hurt anyone to be in good terms with society. However, I do not believe that we should always do what other people want us to do, particularly when it comes to love.
Perhaps the reason why I think this way is because I follow my heart more than my mind. I believe that no one should be denied the opportunity to be with the one they love most. If for instance, my parents tell me that they don’t want me to be with my boyfriend because he is not a Filipino, I would have strongly rebelled. One’s ethnic background has nothing to do with what a wonderful person he or she can be. Alfredo’s situation, however, was a lot more complicated than that. He could not have simply gone off with a woman he had only known for several weeks, when he was already engaged to a woman he had known for years. But it is possible to fall in love with someone within a span of six weeks, and if he felt like Julia was The One, he should have by all means married her. Fortunately for Alfredo, he eventually realized that he was only in love with the idea of love. He did not really love Julia after all. But suppose that his love for Julia was true? Suppose in the end, he felt regret for marrying someone out of duty when he could have married for love?
Alfredo put greater value in his social status and in being a gentleman than in love. However, that is not the way I would want to do things. Even if it might mean being a social outcast, I would fight to be with the one I love, because no other thing could ever make me happy. This is what my heart tells me. This is what I would decide.
