Lele’s dream about her grandpa brought back memories of death in my family. Just recently, I had to write an essay on the short story, Grief by Anton Checkhov. I want to share a small part of this essay especially to those in grief, or who have never dealt with grief or have no idea how to deal with a friend who is in grief .
“Having experienced what it is like to grieve for someone, I can say with conviction that Anton Chekhov’s portrayal of a father’s anguish for his dead son in the short story Grief was accurate. Everyone has their own way of dealing with grief. I chose to deal with my sadness through writing down what I felt in my journal. I suppose I could have talked to my friends about it, but I knew in my heart that they could not comprehend the magnitude of my sorrow and guilt unless they themselves have experienced death, which they haven’t.
Though the image of a man telling a little horse about the death of his son might look a little ridiculous, we must keep in mind that Iona’s way of dealing with his grief was by talking about it. No one was kind enough to spare a few minutes and listen to his story, which left him with no choice but to converse with his horse. It sounds a little pathetic but when you come to think of it, talking to a horse or inanimate object about something as difficult as grief is a lot similar to writing it down. A piece of paper will never know what it is like to lose a brother, but it heard every single word I wanted to say and did not look bored or interrupt my narrative with comments. During my bereavement, one thing that exasperated me was when people would tell me things like, ‘At least your brother is an angel in heaven now.’ Though I know they meant well by these attempts to comfort me, I did not want to picture Luijoe hovering in and out of the clouds with a pair of wings and a halo. I wanted him to be alive, to be as annoying as little brothers are; anywhere but inside a wooden casket buried six feet under a fine carpet of Bermuda grass.
Grief is a never-ending process. The beautiful thing about grieving is that even though you will never get over the death of your loved one, you will learn to move on and live without that person. Death like any great wound leaves a scar that will heal with time. But the mark will always remain, and so will the memories of your loved one. “
