Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grand-motherly, elderly woman to the stand.
He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”
She responded, “Why, yes I do know you, Mr.Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat
on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’tthe brains to realize you never will amount to anything more
than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do,he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you knowthe defense attorney?”
She again replied, “Why yes, I do. I’ve knownMr.Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state; not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.”
The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said, “If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, I’ll throw yoursorry asses in jail for contempt.”
